A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

Smeg...

how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

A dyslexic man walked into a bra

Why did sally fall of of the swing she had no arms

Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

swag

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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