You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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A grandma says come on twinkies and the teinkies say were terriosts from your lost hole

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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