What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Connor is such a dope, he doesn't even know Betty White jokes aren't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What has two legs and two arms? A Human

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops