Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops