whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

no im only tryin to keep it real like a broken peice of cheese.

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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