A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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