Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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What is blue? The sky! Hahaha best joke to laught at with all of your buds hehehehehee

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A black guy walks into a kkk meeting.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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