what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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A young baby died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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