I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops