Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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rocky is staring at us from outside...

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Asian women drivers...

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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