What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops