how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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race-car = rac-ecar

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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what do you get if you cross a scotsman , who knows nothing about football and a indian? Blackburn rovers, and a good night out

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

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What do u call old black people in a shed? antique farm equiptment

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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