My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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why does the man appear fat he is

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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wenis

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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