What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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Black people having a Job.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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