Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

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Caroline Kelly.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

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What do you can a boy with no arms and no legs? Names!

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops