Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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