noah is a scrub jungle

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops