How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

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roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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The american education system.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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