Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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