If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

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Men

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he...

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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