A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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