If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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Q: How much dirt is in a hole 3 by 6 by 2 feet? A: There's no dirt, it's a hole.

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why did the chicken cross the street dude get your facts right it is the road ok well why did the chicken cross the street LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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