What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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