Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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How did the black person die? Of old age

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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i am 26 why was i kidnapped 13 years ago cause i was in a badly written play

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops