Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was hoping to achieve greater economic prosperity and well-being for his family. penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I'm going to rewrite history. History.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops