I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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every cloud has a silver lining

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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wut du u cull a niggre whos wyte nut a niggre

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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silver bullet?

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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