How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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I found someone on the ground who wasn't breathing and had no pulse.They must have been in a damn deep sleep.

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You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

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Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had Alzheimers and forgot that he lived on the other side of the street.

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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