How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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A dyslexic blind man

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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