Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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A van drives into a car.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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