Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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WNBA

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If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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It was a beautiful day. Face.

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What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops