Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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A van drives into a car.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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wenis

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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