Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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Ok so a black guy is packing his bags for college and then......... wait a minute?

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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why am I writing this...im bored

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Man walks into a bar, Has a few drinks and goes home.

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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