How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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Go away nothing to see here,. I said go away

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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