Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is better than tissues? Correct!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops