Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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