How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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