The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

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A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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A man walks into a bar and says ow. Two men walk into a bar, which is weird, because the second guy should have seen it coming.

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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