Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

Jews who wear penny loafers...

An antijoke

what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

What's 6 + 9? 15.

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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