Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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nock nock who's there is me u idiot we aranged this yesterday

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

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A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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Just because you do not see the joke, it does`t mean its not here... Ps: It helps us get hookers and beers while wasting your "valuable time" OMG PLEASE BE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OHMYLAWD!!!!!!!!! Ps: Cry harder you greedy sons of shedogs

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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