How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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what's worse than pie? alot of things.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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