HOLY COW!

What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

Roses are red viloets are blue mw3 sucks and bf3 is good

A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

I like poop in my butt

Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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