A man walked into a bar. That hurt.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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