What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

Caroline Kelly.

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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