A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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#IsaiahAfterAD&B

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A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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