Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

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wsde

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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why didnt the girl laugh at the joke? because it wasnt funny

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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A man, a woman, and a kid are sitting at a table. They are eating dinner, the kid turns to the man and proceeds to explain how he wishes to drop out of school. The man sends him to his room as punishment. The man and the woman resume eating their dinner.

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There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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