Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wow, I screwed up, Give me head.

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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What did the Asian store clerk say to the midget? yay penis

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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spell backwards: taco cat

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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