Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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