What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

What's 6 + 9? 15.

A man walks into a bar and says ow. Two men walk into a bar, which is weird, because the second guy should have seen it coming.

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

What's 1+1? 4.

Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

Poop

What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

A member of the KKK is walking along the street enjoying the nice weather. He then turns his attention to a black man on the other side of the street and stopped dead in his tracks. He stepped on a land mine.

What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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