Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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A seal walks into a club.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

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A man walks into a bar, he obtains an alcoholic beverage from the store neighboring this bar which he bumped into.

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

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whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

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what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops