Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

what do you call a person who rides a bike a lot? BATMAN!!! -s.s

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

Why did the boy cross the road? He was visiting his dying grandmother at the hospital.

Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

69

i like turtles

What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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