A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

What's up? Your time.

What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

silver bullet?

You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

Your mamas so poor she cant even afford to support a family

What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

if got a joke if fogot it

knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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